“Words divide reality between either/or, living experiences are both/and.” ~ Richard Rohr
Words are a necessary part of life. We must have words to function in society. Not to mention to know people and be known by them; to communicate ideas and thoughts so others will know what is going on inside of us. Even people who cannot talk have a language all their own where they use their hands to communicate. If you have ever traveled to a foreign country you know the problem of not speaking the language. You are reduced to hand signals or facial expression, or speaking your own language louder as if the problem is their hearing and not your words. Not having words in life produces chaos.
However, there is another problem. Words divide reality and cause us to see things as we want to see them. In a simple illustration let’s use a chair. Once I call a chair a “chair” I reduce it to something I sit on. But in the coffee shop I am at, the chair in front of me right now has my feet in it, the one next to me holds my backpack. So the chair is also a stool and a table. Also these chairs are made of metal and wood, they are put together well. Someone designed them to be sturdy and to last for a long time. But if I took one of the chairs apart and spread all the parts out on the floor it would no longer be a chair, per se, it would just be a pile of wood and metal, but it would have the potential to be a chair again. So really the chair isn't a chair, it just has a “chairness” about it.
How about a more serious illustration, what about when we label people? When we assign a word to someone we immediately assign a kind of worth or value to the person. For instance, when I say, “That sure is a pretty lady” I am saying everything about her is pretty. She never has an ugly moment, she wakes up pretty, she is always pretty. Or if I say , “That is a nice guy” I do the same thing. In a sense I pass a kind of judgement on said person. I may not be judging on purpose, but I am saying they are a particular “something”. Derogatory comments work the same. I may say, “He is just a redneck” I am assuming some things about this person which may or may not be true, yet in my mind (and maybe verbally to others) I have placed my definition of reality on this person. I have now reduced this person to just a few bad character traits. I am assigning him the reality of the “him” I see. My reality, my viewpoint. When we use racially slang words to this process it gets even uglier. People are always complex and the product of many issues in childhood and on. We must know the whole person in order to “know” them.
What about when we do the same thing to God? What about when we place words on God we think are truth about him? If humans are complex, God is infinitely complex. I will address words about God in another post, but we need to think about these things. If we are going to love God and each other the way Jesus called us to, we must think before we speak and try to see people from multiple view points; not just the one most obvious or most in line with our worldview.
In order to love one another we have to see the both/and of each other. We have to realize people are good and bad all wrapped up together in many different ways; and we all struggle in our own battles. We have to see the woman on welfare who is trying to mother 3 children; and also broken over her mistakes; and also deals with depression and a lack of education. We have to see the man who works all the time and neglects his kids and wife because he is striving to please the ghost of his father who was never satisfied. We cannot stay stuck in our either/or thinking of each other if we are ever going to love as Jesus called us to love.
The key is to see each person as Jesus sees them, his creation, who he loves, he died for and he cares for. Before you speak a word about people make sure you are seeing them through many points of view. How God sees them. This is the only way we will ever get past hate and hurt in the world and take on each others burdens to see change. Jesus paid for our sins by taking them on himself, maybe we can get over each others sins by sharing the burden of them together. We have to see from multiply points of view.
“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” James 1:26
